Ellie Talks - EQ

by Ellie Starks 

Being Judged: A Healthy Opportunity for Self-Reflection

Being judged by others can be a difficult experience, but it can also be an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. When someone judges us, it can mirror back to us aspects of ourselves that we may not be aware of or that we are trying to avoid. It can also force us to confront our own biases and prejudices.

In a healthy way, being judged can help us to:

• Identify areas where we can improve. When someone gives us feedback, we can use it to assess our own strengths and weaknesses. This information can then be used to set goals and make changes in our lives.
• Develop thicker skin. Learning to deal with criticism and rejection is an important part of life. By developing thicker skin, we can become more resilient and less likely to be affected by the opinions of others.
• Gain a better understanding of ourselves. When someone judges us, it can give us insights into our own values, beliefs, and behaviors. This self-awareness can be essential for personal growth and development.

Of course, not all judgment is created equal. It is important to be able to distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism. Constructive criticism is specific, actionable, and intended to help us improve. Destructive criticism is general, vague, and intended to hurt us.

Here are some tips for discerning between constructive and destructive criticism:

• Consider the source. Is the person giving you feedback someone you trust and respect? Do they have your best interests at heart?
• Pay attention to the intent. Is the person trying to help you improve or are they simply trying to tear you down?
• Evaluate the feedback. Is the feedback specific and actionable? Does it provide you with clear guidance on how to improve?

If you are receiving destructive criticism, it is best to ignore it. However, if you are receiving constructive criticism, it is worth considering carefully. It is important to be open to feedback, even if it is difficult to hear. After all, it is only through feedback that we can learn and grow.

How to know when feedback is helpful

Helpful feedback is specific, actionable, and intended to help you improve. It is also delivered in a respectful and supportive way.

Here are some signs that you are receiving helpful feedback:

• The person giving you feedback is knowledgeable about the topic at hand.
• The feedback is specific and focused on a particular area or behavior.
• The feedback is actionable, meaning that it provides you with clear guidance on how to improve.
• The feedback is delivered in a respectful and supportive way.

If you are receiving feedback that meets all of these criteria, then it is likely to be helpful. On the other hand, if the feedback is general, vague, or intended to hurt you, then it is best to ignore it.

Your friend telling you that you are fat

If your friend told you that you are fat, it is important to consider their intent. Were they trying to be helpful or were they simply trying to hurt you? If they were trying to be helpful, then you may want to consider their feedback. However, if they were simply trying to hurt you, then you can safely ignore their opinion.

It is also important to remember that there is no one "correct" weight or body size. What matters most is that you are healthy and happy with your own body. If you are concerned about your weight, you should talk to your doctor. They can help you to assess your health and determine whether or not you need to lose weight.

Conclusion

Being judged by others can be a difficult experience, but it can also be an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. By learning to distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism, we can use feedback to improve our lives.